16th December 2012 – Shame on Delhi

On the night of 16 December 2012, a paramedical student, Damini was gang raped in Delhi. The victim and her friend after watching a movie boarded a bus in South Delhi, when they were beaten by a group of six males (5 adult, 1 minor), after which the female victim was raped.

The couple were on their way home after watching Life of Pi at a South Delhi multiplex. The couple boarded a bus at about 9 pm when a group of men, who were on the bus, began harassing her.

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When her friend tried to intervene, he was gagged and then hit mercilessly with an iron rod. Five men then hit the woman with the same rod and gang-raped her while the driver kept the bus moving. At about 11 pm, the couple was thrown semi-naked onto the road. A passer-by phoned the police which then collected the couple and moved the pair to the hospital. The girl had been hit with the iron rod for nearly forty five minutes.

“It appears to be that a rod was inserted into her and it was pulled out with so much force that the act brought out her intestines… That is probably the only thing that explains such severe damage to her intestines,” said a doctor at Safdarjung Hospital where the woman is being treated.

What were the First Questions that were asked -

1. What was the girl wearing?

2. Why was she out post 9pm in the night?

3. Why was she alone with a boy?

We live in a society where daughters are asked Not to get raped. As if it were an option they can avoid. We are told to hide our faces in shame, if we were to be abused, eve teased, harrased and sweared at. It is ok to live in wed lock comprising of physical abuse than to file for divorce.

It is “culture” to be tolerant and toil away as a women, as it is testimony to your femininity.

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Damini had her intestines completely removed. If she manages to live, she will live on intravenous fluids for life. Her partner will require extensive therapy to overcome what he has experienced.

I am furious. Enraged. I’ve been eve teased before. I’ve been bullied by coward men. I’ve been followed home and abused. And I have been taught to be perfectly silent about it. There would be repercussions if I made anyone “uncomfortable” with my woman problems.

If anything, I now feel the need to be more shameless. To be more impolite. To be more zealous and rebellious. I cannot sleep tonight. I do not think I will sleep in peace again.

To only think, I was in Delhi 7 days ago. *jitters*  Only 6 months after a minor Girl was openly molested on road by a group of men in Guwahati, enjoying every fistful grope and video taped for the world to see.

I do understand the process of Law takes time and the constitutional protocols must seep through layers of bureaucratic, bribe sucking, male chauvinist, porn addicted middle aged crises law makers.

I do understand, while the tinted Bus in which Damini was raped and her insides were castrated outside, passed three police vans during the assault, meant the Delhi Police has no better way of knowing how to do its job.

I understand, that now in spite of everything and the arrests made, the Delhi police is resorting to providing a “high security” getaway for the alleged. Life imprisonment is as good as it gets. Isn’t that perfect.

I understand. I’ve understood.

I’m a woman. Nuff said.

Update: 29th December 2012

I woke up to find several BBM updates screaming R.I.P. My heart wrenched because of what I was dreading the most. Last I knew she was flown to Singapore for treatment at the Mt. Elizabeth Hospital. She didn’t make it.

This was murder. Rape is murder. Murder of hopes, dreams. Murder of ambition, prayers and everything good in this cruel world. This young brave women, will never have another birthday, never go on a date, be married or live to have a family of her own. She will never complete her education nor will she live to support her family.

Her family will wake up to an empty room everyday. Her friend will forever remember the heinous crime, where he was beaten to unconsciousness and stripped naked, thrown out of a moving vehicle. This family has been scarred.

India is a place, where girls are neither safe inside the womb nor outside.

Damini a.k.a Nirbhaya died a fighting hero.

A little part of me died today. Weeping inconsolably I found the strength to get out of bed and walk to my laptop to know of her last.

Her body was prepared in a funeral parlor in Singapore, before the coffin began its journey back to India with her parents who were at her bedside when she was pronounced dead at Singapore’s Mount Elizabeth Hospital.

funeral workers

Just yesterday, a punjabi teenager who was gang raped in November (yes, we didn’t know of the crime until yest.) committed suicide, giving into the pressure by her attackers and the cheap police officers in Punjab, who would call her in the wee hours of the night and ask ” Rape kaise kiya unhone”? ( tell us, how did they rape you?). She was asked to visit the station alone, and pressurized to drop the charges. She left behind a video recording her ordeal and a letter with the name of the accused. Within, 24 hours, Damini left us.

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I wait for the day, we can walk the streets to buy groceries for our children with a promising contentment t return home safe and unharmed. I wait for the day, I can stroll in the park with him, without the fear of being battered by a mob and left naked and exposed to the eyes of the world to see.

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We have lost. Dear Daughters, Girls, Wives, Sisters and Mothers, do not cease to fight. We promised Damini we’d fight. We promised never to give up. We promised, that we’d look after even if she was gone. We promised.

Update:

On the 4th of January, Father of the victim Badri Singh, revealed her name to the world. Her name was Jyothi Singh Pandey.

13 thoughts on “16th December 2012 – Shame on Delhi

  1. As a man, I would like to say, “we can do better.” This patriarchal animal we call society needs to be castrated. Thank you for speaking out against this ubiquitous injustice. Your post makes me want to be a better man.

  2. Should do the same with the rapist what they had done with Damini.even more brutal with them,after that only Damini soul will be in peace.

    1. Death sentence is a very respectable good bye for these animals. If they were stripped and take to the streets like how the Arab world treats rapists. This will not cure the problem, but comfort my broken heart.

  3. hooriya hussain,
    its very good to see the you empathize with damini’s fate.
    empathize also with Gujarat’s gangrape,nay,mass-rape victims.
    (who faced equal or more intestinal and organ ruptures)
    you and the likes of you should have broken that apathy then.

    1. Thank you for giving this a read.
      We live in a stoned state of apathy. We practice a culture of sheer impassiveness. My concern is with the nurturing aspect to begin with. The place of women in society and the contextualization of women as sex objects and the crisis control mechanism, that give no support to victims. Why do we allow to this happen. Why are we all not asking the same questions.

  4. a culture of sheer impassiveness and sheer hypocrisy.
    because, for justice to be put into practice, it takes the victimization of a high-end delhiite intern(although no less innocent in my view),
    but not for similar unspeakable horrors that some women from some part of india have had to face just because they were treated like scumbags not only from within but this “supposedly awakening” society as well….no,that’s not blogger material,isint it?

    1. Multilateral occurrences aside and hypo critics being one of them, stressing on how the ‘Indian’ culture and values are stemmed with hypocrisy. Quoting from above, the authorities are more interested in what victims are usually wearing to why’d they step out. Are these not the practiced and preached ‘morals’ that we end up fighting against?
      As with the incidents I faced myself , women try to suppress these issues themselves, so not to be ridiculed or face shame. The horrifying fact is, there will be more Damini’s tomorrow. The law does not think this is as important a grave issue as murder. The pertaining stigma is, that Rape is a women’s issue. So, if it were to happen, do not point fingers at culture and society. How convenient.

  5. dont tell me that this finger pointing is something that you would’nt do too.
    i know that both of us are on the same side.but didnt you quote yourself about this culture being impassive.
    pray,who do you think then you were laying the blame on?
    i think i know what your reply is gonna be like.but like i said, us being on the same side, let me once again state what i was after from the beginning.
    for the umpteenth time, damini’s was really a heart-rending case, but S-T-O-P portraying it as quintessential case against harakiri against women. my only plea is that why were those poor,veiled,chastity-ridden,innocent muslim women not meted-out justice like damini..(i’m presuming that, now that uber-cool, gift of the gab possessing revolutionaries like you are fighting for damini,she’ll definately get justice).

    1. Isn’t Damini’s case probably the only case since the Guwahati “incident” to have to come to our attention? N number of cases are registered at local police thana’s. Be it muslim or hindu, both who are conservative and orthodox and modest. Rape is common. Dissing it as a women’s issue-we will solve it after we deal with murders issue is the existing support system.
      This isn’t about one girl. Isn’t she representative of many unfortunate women just like her? And why should I even write about this is in the first place. Is just being a woman enough to be a common ground for us?
      Fight for damini, is not for her. It is for many like her who suffer, have suffered and god forbid,will. My issue is with the pertaining cultural filth in the system. No woman would want to complain or bring notice to herself once she has been raped. My issue, is about the attitude to filthy animals who live to prey on women, with no fear of law.For the first time, it is not shameful to talk about rape or bring it up with your parents or peers. I ordinarily wouldn’t even write the ‘R’ word on a public forum. Damini will never get justice. Nor a remuneration of 15 lakh rupees cannot rehabilitate a scarred family. It takes a simple -bribed bail to get a rapist out of jail. This isn’t even enough to illustrate the rape situation in India, but we are starting to talk about it and for me, albeit insignificant- that is promising.

  6. i see your point.
    but it aint enough to bring comfort.
    because your stance about the authorities asking questions like why was she out at night with a guy and why was she wearing what she was wearing as is customary in such cases IS NOT more grave than my stance about the authorities not even acknowledging the plight of and crime done unto those women.
    this can go on ad nauseum.
    so,peace out!

  7. Noted. My above ‘stance’ as you call it, is a way of showing how a rape victim who has reported a crime is usually treated and is a way to acknowledge/show the mentality of the authorities who have dealt . This detail, is especially new to many readers who come from rather privileged societies, it is of important eye opener to many uninformed readers, no matter what the background.
    While the forum is open for discussion and sharing of faiths and thoughts. It is however, important to accept every individuals aesthetic and see their motivation to write. Suggestions, comments and anecdotes are welcomed, provided they add value and are not condescending or condemnatory/ judgmental. Every story and point of view is a unique rendition.

  8. may your pray listen some noble soul , god ,goddess , saint

    Ladies souls are being made to rape under earth and even souls ‘s souls are brought and some thing is given in stomach and it is happening under under and the stomachs, happening for revenges . in my eyes was seen a human body was pushed into holes , under groung in earth

    , how humans are born same way sending back . is it not shame full even for great humans are doing like such kind of things for revenges . please requests you to request and pray to stop ans save every soul .what ever punishment is should be given on the earth only infront of all .
    ————————————————————————————————————————
    a request to request and pray —
    – from the very ancient time one curse is coming on . even gods and devatas , souls were also affected by the curse of evil thoughts . ( when any god or anyone would had created male and female ,some god would had invented the sex and thoughts of sex (kam) for the birth for childrens ). requests you by considering the all aspects at those times would had been the requirements .
    so who can be said culprit or victim .but after words became curses . the evil thoughts of KAMA (sex) and KAM(sex) .if there would had been no evil thoughts of sex(kama ) which causes insult and hates .never would had been no one insulted and was the main cause of every quarrel, every insult and every destructions .
    —————————————————————————————————————
    ,human souls are taken under earth ,under rocks ,even to several thousnds kilometers under rocks,taking old revenges ,vengenes ,conspirancies ,polatics and given different shapes .in sevrages and made like aliens .taking under earth and beating and burning .

    even to center of the earth, where no body can be able to find out , under rocks .even converting souls (atamas) to pieces the size of molecules even to newtron, proton size so that no one can search .buring alive .beating , cutting parts of boby of (souls) atama , sending to hell the place like toilt severages where no body sees , making aliens and like aliens from human .joining different souls atamas giveing unnatural shapes .breaking soul cutting hands , legs .stomach ,toungs,seprating layers of body and souls . spoil of budies brains , spoiling souls , kundlanies shakties ,nurves systems ,spoiling humans ,beating souls ,human micro soul powers .

    even taking souls from a very small hole .from the toilet room .and making souls into very very small sizes .
    request ——souls ,grand souls, microsouls or any molecules of human or any creatures should not be taken under earth or any hell for any punishment ,any kind of torturings ,sufferings .and

    requests, what ever punishment is should be given on the earth only infront of all .

    ———————————————————————-
    every one was not born with the god’good grace and nature’s good grace of good qualities and the good fate and luck to have good inteligence ,good wisdom ,good qualities ,and circuimstances not to commit ever any mistakes or sins .

    request and pray —every human every soul either good or bad ,angle or evil ,sinner,demon , god or devil every creature ,every one want to live as a good humanbeing –please save

    request—-instead of killing ,spoiling lives,destroying ,sending under earth ,hells ,if some place is given far away from india .and some thing are done for better to improve the qualities of humans and souls .so that every one can live .

    ———————————————————————————–
    ——from the ancient times we are the main cause for every bad happening .
    —–in earlirer past births ( janams ) would have done some mistakes or sins that may be due to bad budhies (bad wisedom )(
    बुदधि ) or bad fate. . which made sinner and sinner, and was not able to come out of bad thoughts and bad wisdom . due to that others are also got affected and became victims and getting punished .
    so requests
    ————-

    REQUEST to request to give DEATH for ME ,MOTHER ,and FATHER ,and even to my TWO BROTHERS,and ONE SISTER to soul,grand soul ,kundaliy ,by giving or injecting POSION (which science & scientits can produce) and shown in the “DASAVATARAM “tamil & hindi india movie.BURN infront of ALL ON THE EARTH ONLY
    whatever punishment for anyone .please given on the earth only , what ever it may be human,souls ,grand souls or any molecules infront of every one. not by taking under earth or hell-

    ———————————————————
    REQUESTS you and REQUESTS to REQUEST and PRAY to EARTH — there be no any hell under earth .no soul be suffering under earth ,hell ,or any kind of placses under earth for suffering , pain ,punishment or any kind of torturings .
    due to bad wisdom and bad fate every one do mistakes , sins. every one was not born with the good grace nature and qualities not doing mistakes and sins .every soul, every molecule ,every human may be sinner or good get back each and every molecule which are taken from humans ,souls,and be the humans again .and every human ,soul,molecule get the good wisedom ,good intelegence not to commeiting any sin not doing wrong bad,not doing anything which cause insult to anyone which makes anyone angry ,there be no bad words,no bad thoughts,no hates ,no sins,no vengeances,no quarrels ,no life lose. be respect for every one ,in every soul,human, kundalini ,every molecule .there be no any soul,molecule, creatuers,with any kind of suffering,punishment,or any
    torturings .there should not be any hell under earth .no soul be taken to under earth ,hell ,or any kind of placses under earth for suffering ,punishment or any kind of torturings
    ———————————————————

    from the time of old vedic ,ancient time ,curses of rishes (saints) (angles) devatas quarrels stil going on for revenges . ramanya , mahabharata enemities, conspirancies (
    षङयत्रॅ ) cheatings ,dirty polatics , mistakes ( THAT TIME MAY BE MISTAKES OF ONE OR TWO PERSONS ) , old revenges are taking place still going on. due to some bad budhies (wisedom) ( बुदधि ) bad thoughts , bad understanding , egos , and adamant natures ( हठ ) ,blaming each others, those enemities and revenges has brought to this level . now it has taken very destruction .

    2 ) if at those ancients times some wise peoples would have taken wise decissions for the betterment for each others and others , no ramayana, no mahabhartha , no war ,no fight ,no quarrels , in puranic (ancients) times and now nothing would have not taken place

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